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Concern about lack of directness.

Lately I'm beginning to feel that I'm not honest enough in my reviews. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to lie about a product. I'd never do that. What I mean is, I have a flaw of not standing up for myself and my beliefs as firmly as I should. If my opinion or desires may interfere or offend someone else's, I usually put "icing on the cake" by inadvertently getting across my true feelings or subduing the "harshness" of my feelings by using more delicate words.

My husband often points out when I'm doing this because in his opinion I shouldn't ever need to be so hesitant or very selective over my words, especially with him. What others may perceive as indecision is usually me saying "Well I'd like xx but we can get whatever you want," because I get anxious over the idea of being troublesome.

Since coming back into the sex toy community, I see that I do this often with reviews and I need to fix this. Maybe it's apparent to other reviewers with how often I say something on the lines of "it didn't work for me but ___ person might like it". People who are familiar with sex toys probably understand what I'm really saying (ie, "This toy sucked"). But people who are already into sex toys don't need a reviewer telling them that maybe if they like the things that I didn't, the toy would work out for them. No, a sex toy lover would already come to these conclusions themselves; there's no need for me to be holding anyone's hand.

Who this really hurts are people that are new to sex toys. If newcomers are reading my blog about a product that I didn't like, they may get the wrong idea. Maybe they won't understand how their personal preferences impact their taste in toys since they may have little to no experience themselves, but I definitely don't need to be glossing over a negative review by recommending a toy that I didn't like. Really, newcomers should be encouraged to try quality toys that work, and if a toy didn't work for me then why the heck should I endorse it?

I feel like an idiot now. I need to feel more confident in myself and my voice and not be a pushover in my toy reviews. No company that sponsors me is pressuring me to give positive reviews so I shouldn't ever feel the need to soften the blow.

I sincerely apologize to those who've read my reviews and felt confused about my honest feelings toward the product. I will attempt to go back and make corrections where I feel is necessary and applicable. Lastly, I'd like to remind all my readers that you never need to hesitate to ask me a question about one of my reviews. I'd love to hear your feedback in any shape or form.


Epiphora said...

This is a brave post for you to write. And you make a good point about the whole "didn't work for me, might work for you" wording that reviewers are often so fond of. It's not helping the reader, and isn't that the whole point?

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